Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
