My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
