I'm gonna have a badass scar
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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