oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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