At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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