you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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