I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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