The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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