How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
