So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
