Sry I called you an 8
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize