nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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