Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You were trust falling into bushes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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