I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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