So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
wow bdsm is so cute
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