Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
