the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
