If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
