that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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