Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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