somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
