I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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