im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
