she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
