I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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