Pappa wants mamma naked
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize