Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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