if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need moral support for this bender
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize