Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
