i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
