dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
