There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
