gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
