I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
