He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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