As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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