your parents love me but you hate me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
