It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
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If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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