you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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