You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize