i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
