I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
