Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so let's talk penis.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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