i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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