My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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