yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.