highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE