I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
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Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.