I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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