Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
