i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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