I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
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He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize