I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
