Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
