felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
