So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
