Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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