i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
