Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
