we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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