hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Who died my cat blue again?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
