I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
